Please note that your letter must be postmarked by June 13, 2013.
Manager, Consumer & Industry Contact
Lakeland District
PO Box 5008
Milwaukee, WI 53201-5008
Dear Postal Service Representative,
I am writing to urge that the mail-processing operation in Madison not be downsized or consolidated. I am especially concerned about the delays in service and the loss of jobs in Madison. What is being proposed is essentially the elimination of first-class mail service. Whereas now, on weekdays, mail going to a destination in southwestern Wisconsin very often arrives the next day, if the proposed consolidation takes place, delivery times will slow to two or three days or longer, especially in December when mail volume is up and in the winter months when road conditions are hazardous.
I am also concerned that at a time when we should be reducing the consumption of fuel, the USPS is planning to increase its fuel consumption to truck mail farther to be processed. The increased use of the roads will add to traffic congestion and will cause further wear and tear to the roads as well as damage to the environment caused by increased emissions and fuel consumption.
The USPS’s claims to save $146,462 per year on transportation—while moving all mail coming into Madison to Milwaukee every day, then moving Madison’s mail back a day or two later—is obviously false. With the consolidation plan, transportation costs will undoubtedly increase substantially. Moreover, the need for mail handling work will increase in both Madison and Milwaukee, as all the mail will need to be moved on and off trucks in both cities.
The permanent destruction of first-class mail service, along with the sacrifice of 54 jobs in Madison, is far too high a price to pay for what will amount to minuscule savings (if any) for the postal service. A far better solution would be to raise postal rates for all postal customers enough so that the USPS would be able to cover its costs. Just because mail volume is currently low doesn’t mean that it will stay that way. And decreased volume does not mean that the service is any less valuable to those who use the service and rely on it.
The postal service needs to be strengthened and improved, not dismantled. It will not be improved or “saved” by destroying it, which is essentially what this plan amounts to. I cannot express my opposition to it strongly enough.
Sincerely,
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Meeting Talking Points
The Milwaukee Plant
The Milwaukee Processing and Distribution Center is in a leased building. We're told the lease will expire in 2015--and that the plant itself is not well suited to mail processing. It's a 4-story building. It shakes alarmingly when a train goes by. Chunks of concrete fall off the bottom of the ramp the semi trucks take to the third-floor loading dock--onto the employee parking area below. The plant is prime downtown Milwaukee real estate; the owner receives little money from USPS. It seems likely that the building will be unavailable after the lease expires in 2015. The building was not designed for heavy equipment. Putting more equipment, more employees, and more mail--and the mail staying there longer--will stress the load-bearing structure of the plant. Postal leadership may be setting up a Bangladesh-style disaster right here in Wisconsin.
Service
The USPS is not a business. It is a government-owned and -run public service. We rely on first-class service, including one-day service within a few hours’ drive, to keep us connected, knit the country together in ways not possible without it. We are a poorer country with each postal facility closed or service reduced.
Law
"39 U.S.C 101(a) The Postal Service shall have as its basic function the obligation to provide postal services to bind the nation together. . . . It shall provide prompt, reliable, and efficient services to patrons in all areas and shall render postal services in all communities."
"(d) Postal rates shall be established to apportion the costs of all postal operations to all users of the mail on a fair and equitable basis."
Current law requires that prompt, reliable, efficient postal service be maintained to all areas, and that the cost of doing so be apportioned to the users. Abandoning service and failing to charge mailers the cost of maintaining the postal infrastructure is in violation of current law.
Delays in Service
Moving operations to Milwaukee will add 1 to 2 business days' delay to all mail. The move will permanently destroy USPS’s ability to provide first-class service. There will be no more 1-day service. Even from Madison to Madison. The best will be 2- to 3-day service. What of the cost to the public of the loss of this needed service?
Delays in Service/Community Economic Impact
When businesses ship items such as live poultry and fish, they will more likely arrive as dead poultry and fish. These and other mail-order businesses will lose viability, as customers abandon mail-order for faster options. And the customers who must themselves drive to the supplier rather than relying on mail service bear a combined cost to themselves in transportation and time far in excess of any possible savings to USPS by hauling southwest Wisconsin’s mail to Milwaukee, and back, rather than sorting in Madison.
Netflix customers will increasingly abandon postal delivery in favor of electronic delivery. With the Madison plant in operation, when I send a Netflick or other letter from Madison to Madison on a Monday, it arrives there on Tuesday. But that same mailpiece, if mailed after hours on Friday, goes to Milwaukee for processing: and doesn't arrive at its destination in Madison sometimes until Wednesday. Time-sensitive mail will abandon USPS in the absence of next-day local delivery. This will further erode revenue and volume.
USPS proposes to "save" $4 million by getting rid of some 54 Madison workers. But the loss to the community will be many times the "savings" to USPS. Those workers and their families will no longer have that money to spend on rent, food, entertainment, transportation, medical care, education, anything they spend money on. The loss of 54 jobs in Madison will force loss of revenue to all the local businesses where these workers spent money. Some of these businesses will lose workers too. There's a multiplier effect--the community will lose many times the "savings" USPS gropes for. And service will suffer.
Collection Time Changes
Eliminating the last one or more mail pickups of the day is just another way of delaying a portion of the day’s mail, above and beyond the 1- to 2-day delay suffered by mail posted earlier in the day.
Customer Service Problems
Lost and misplaced mail would be more common with all Madison and Milwaukee mail stuffed into the Milwaukee plant. All mail spending at least 1 or 2 more days in processing means carts of mail clogging the processing and distribution center, with clerks and mail handlers having to hunt among the scrum for—hopefully all?—the mail needed.
Increased Costs
Moving all mail collected in southwestern Wisconsin, from Jefferson to the Mississippi River and from northern Adams county to the Illinois line, to Milwaukee for processing—then moving all mail going to the area back to Madison, would add greatly to transportation costs—and fuel prices keep rising.
Lack of Credibility
The USPS’s claim that the consolidation plan would save $146,462 per year on transportation—while moving all mail coming into Madison to Milwaukee every day, then moving our mail back a day or two later—is an obvious falsehood. Mail handler work will increase too in both Madison and Milwaukee, as all mail would have to be moved on and off trucks on both ends.
The USPS’s claim of saving $4,085,986 per year on mail processing employees, with net 30 fewer craft employees, $136,200 per employee if none were maintenance employees, plus $551,334 in maintenance savings—alongside the claimed $387,822 yearly savings on 6 fewer managers or supervisors, $64,600 per head, clearly shows USPS is being dishonest in its claimed savings. Recall that if jobs are to be eliminated, it must be the new, part-time, low-wage, noncareer positions, which earn on the order of $15,000 per year. And a couple fewer technicians would not save half a million dollars.
Lack of Trust
To propose to permanently destroy first-class service for fictitious “savings” of $5 million per year, when expenses exceed revenue on the order of $10 billion per year, shows USPS’s destruction of service to be gratuitous—the USPS does not even purport that more than negligible savings could be achieved. And the savings are illusory. Transportation costs would increase and would continue to increase. And the quoted “savings” numbers are self-evidently false.
Bulk Rates
The USPS chooses self-destruction, and destruction of the largest middle-class workforce in the nation, in preference to charging mailers a fraction more to cover the cost of maintaining the postal infrastructure. The USPS’s excessive “work-sharing” discounts paid to build, equip and operate a private presort network, and shunted mail sorting and distribution to it. This slashes revenue and leaves USPS plants underused—without decreasing the costs USPS must pay to build, equip, and staff its own network. It costs about as much to run a half-full truck as a full one. Processing plants and equipment must be acquired, maintained and operated whether the processing runs are long or short. USPS’s network must persist if there is to be postal service. Paying private companies to do USPS’s work simply gives away the store.
Public Release of the Area Mail Processing Study Data
The USPS provides no information supporting its self-evidently false estimates of savings.
The Process Used for Public Discussion of the Area Mail Processing Study
The meeting was announced with a minimum of notice—although the meeting facilities must have been arranged well in advance. The USPS has, over several years, made a series of partial demolitions of its infrastructure: closing a few thousand post offices here, a hundred or so processing plants there. Each destruction of service is presented as a necessary response to what is in fact a manufactured crisis. When the Rockford plant was slated for closure, the USPS told us its mail would come to Madison, and that Madison, Milwaukee, and Green Bay would be the remaining plants in Wisconsin in the shattered network. Under the proposed consolidation, Madison would lose half its mail processing—and Madison and southwest Wisconsin would lose first-class service. What next? Does USPS subscribe to Pitney-Bowes’ vision of purely private mail processing and distribution? The USPS’s actions are taking us down the road to privatization at a stunning speed, quickly and quietly proceeding in the dark with its plans to destroy service—to minimize public awareness of what is being done, to withhold information relied on in reaching decisions, to conceal the facts and hide the truth—and never to reveal that decisions are made solely in the service of mass mailers, to the detriment of the American people.
Lack of Public Input
The USPS seeks to minimize public input by giving short notice, by withholding any information relied on in reaching its business case estimates—and by, in every one of the hundreds of such meetings that have happened all over the country, presenting only vague statements by officials unable or unwilling to provide substantive answers. And by blithely ignoring all public input, proceeding with service destruction in violation of law and the public trust—all to ensure that the owners of Val-Pak Coupons and similar profiteers keep pocketing billions of dollars as excess profits that should have preserved the public infrastructure.
Service
The USPS could easily increase revenue, reduce costs, and provide better service to the American people. The Internet could be the biggest boon to the post since paper. USPS should offer a service whereby a customer e-mails a document to USPS, which then prints it at, and delivers it from, the destination postal facility. It has the impact of hard-copy communication with 1-day service everywhere—if USPS stops closing its processing-and-distribution centers. This would be a very popular service, and profitable if priced at full rates. It would avoid hauling paper across the country. Customers could sign, handwrite, draw, on a touchpad, as well as sending any document that can be sent to a printer.
The USPS leadership must preserve and improve the postal service for the American people. Not dismantle and destroy it for plunderers and profiteers.
Community Economic Impact
Residents of Madison and southwest Wisconsin are being made to suffer the loss of service, and to pay the sky-high rates charged by express mail companies when we need prompt service. USPS claims to “save” an amount less than a rounding error in its budget—yet savings, if any were to materialize, come at the expense of the people disserved.
Job Loss
USPS’s plan to put 54 Madisonians out of work, in order to destroy first-class service in Madison and southwest Wisconsin, will be a hardship for the workers, their families, for the businesses where they spend money, for the city of Madison, and for southwest Wisconsin. Contracting out transportation, rather than using local union workers, places the same financial burden on all of us. Charge your mass-mailing, discount-grubbing, profiteering customers enough to bring revenue back from $65 billion to $75 billion. Do not take the money from your employees and their communities. The hardship to the employees, families, and communities is real. The savings to USPS is illusory. The postal network must stay, and closing excessive discounts and raising rates is the only way to pay for it.
Road Impact
Hauling all southwest Wisconsin’s mail to Milwaukee and back for mail processing not only destroys service. The extra trucks needed, all converging at 3902 Milwaukee Street, Madison, all headed for 345 W. St. Paul Avenue, Milwaukee, have the potential to create traffic jams at both ends, with trucks backed up onto the highway waiting to get to and from the loading docks. This would be worse in winter or bad weather. The extra trucking would use more fuel, put more soot, poisons, and greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, cause additional damage to the roads, more road construction, more road congestion, more accidents.
Loss of Postmark
The loss of the Madison postmark for the daily hundreds of thousands of mailpieces collected in Madison signifies a loss of stature of the community. It sends a message that Madison is merely a satellite of Milwaukee. Madison is the state capital and a major Wisconsin city. And no, the opportunity to stand in line at the counter at the post office to get a letter stamped does not restore it.
Hazards in the Mail
In the event of destructive, poisonous, or hazardous material in the mail, the commingling of all mail from southwest Wisconsin into Milwaukee will maximize destructive impact and impede investigation into its source.
Politics
USPS officials have made it abundantly clear in the hundreds of previous such meetings that the people’s voice is irrelevant. That local politicians have no opportunity to persuade the government’s postal service to preserve service to their constituents. That USPS officials have their minds made up going into the meeting, an entirely pro forma affair. That control of postal decision-making has been taken over by the big mailers. They are the players who stand personally to gain billions of dollars by preserving their excessive, service-breaking discounts. Theirs is the only voice USPS officials respond to. USPS’s table has seats only for them. It is essential, while there is still some shred of government-owned and –operated postal service left, that we residential customers form our own research-and-lobbying group, to expose the dark secrets USPS management wants kept hidden, and pressure the responsible public servants to be responsible public servants—rather than the irresponsible servants of plunderers and pirates.
The Milwaukee Processing and Distribution Center is in a leased building. We're told the lease will expire in 2015--and that the plant itself is not well suited to mail processing. It's a 4-story building. It shakes alarmingly when a train goes by. Chunks of concrete fall off the bottom of the ramp the semi trucks take to the third-floor loading dock--onto the employee parking area below. The plant is prime downtown Milwaukee real estate; the owner receives little money from USPS. It seems likely that the building will be unavailable after the lease expires in 2015. The building was not designed for heavy equipment. Putting more equipment, more employees, and more mail--and the mail staying there longer--will stress the load-bearing structure of the plant. Postal leadership may be setting up a Bangladesh-style disaster right here in Wisconsin.
Service
The USPS is not a business. It is a government-owned and -run public service. We rely on first-class service, including one-day service within a few hours’ drive, to keep us connected, knit the country together in ways not possible without it. We are a poorer country with each postal facility closed or service reduced.
Law
"39 U.S.C 101(a) The Postal Service shall have as its basic function the obligation to provide postal services to bind the nation together. . . . It shall provide prompt, reliable, and efficient services to patrons in all areas and shall render postal services in all communities."
"(d) Postal rates shall be established to apportion the costs of all postal operations to all users of the mail on a fair and equitable basis."
Current law requires that prompt, reliable, efficient postal service be maintained to all areas, and that the cost of doing so be apportioned to the users. Abandoning service and failing to charge mailers the cost of maintaining the postal infrastructure is in violation of current law.
Delays in Service
Moving operations to Milwaukee will add 1 to 2 business days' delay to all mail. The move will permanently destroy USPS’s ability to provide first-class service. There will be no more 1-day service. Even from Madison to Madison. The best will be 2- to 3-day service. What of the cost to the public of the loss of this needed service?
Delays in Service/Community Economic Impact
When businesses ship items such as live poultry and fish, they will more likely arrive as dead poultry and fish. These and other mail-order businesses will lose viability, as customers abandon mail-order for faster options. And the customers who must themselves drive to the supplier rather than relying on mail service bear a combined cost to themselves in transportation and time far in excess of any possible savings to USPS by hauling southwest Wisconsin’s mail to Milwaukee, and back, rather than sorting in Madison.
Netflix customers will increasingly abandon postal delivery in favor of electronic delivery. With the Madison plant in operation, when I send a Netflick or other letter from Madison to Madison on a Monday, it arrives there on Tuesday. But that same mailpiece, if mailed after hours on Friday, goes to Milwaukee for processing: and doesn't arrive at its destination in Madison sometimes until Wednesday. Time-sensitive mail will abandon USPS in the absence of next-day local delivery. This will further erode revenue and volume.
USPS proposes to "save" $4 million by getting rid of some 54 Madison workers. But the loss to the community will be many times the "savings" to USPS. Those workers and their families will no longer have that money to spend on rent, food, entertainment, transportation, medical care, education, anything they spend money on. The loss of 54 jobs in Madison will force loss of revenue to all the local businesses where these workers spent money. Some of these businesses will lose workers too. There's a multiplier effect--the community will lose many times the "savings" USPS gropes for. And service will suffer.
Collection Time Changes
Eliminating the last one or more mail pickups of the day is just another way of delaying a portion of the day’s mail, above and beyond the 1- to 2-day delay suffered by mail posted earlier in the day.
Customer Service Problems
Lost and misplaced mail would be more common with all Madison and Milwaukee mail stuffed into the Milwaukee plant. All mail spending at least 1 or 2 more days in processing means carts of mail clogging the processing and distribution center, with clerks and mail handlers having to hunt among the scrum for—hopefully all?—the mail needed.
Increased Costs
Moving all mail collected in southwestern Wisconsin, from Jefferson to the Mississippi River and from northern Adams county to the Illinois line, to Milwaukee for processing—then moving all mail going to the area back to Madison, would add greatly to transportation costs—and fuel prices keep rising.
Lack of Credibility
The USPS’s claim that the consolidation plan would save $146,462 per year on transportation—while moving all mail coming into Madison to Milwaukee every day, then moving our mail back a day or two later—is an obvious falsehood. Mail handler work will increase too in both Madison and Milwaukee, as all mail would have to be moved on and off trucks on both ends.
The USPS’s claim of saving $4,085,986 per year on mail processing employees, with net 30 fewer craft employees, $136,200 per employee if none were maintenance employees, plus $551,334 in maintenance savings—alongside the claimed $387,822 yearly savings on 6 fewer managers or supervisors, $64,600 per head, clearly shows USPS is being dishonest in its claimed savings. Recall that if jobs are to be eliminated, it must be the new, part-time, low-wage, noncareer positions, which earn on the order of $15,000 per year. And a couple fewer technicians would not save half a million dollars.
Lack of Trust
To propose to permanently destroy first-class service for fictitious “savings” of $5 million per year, when expenses exceed revenue on the order of $10 billion per year, shows USPS’s destruction of service to be gratuitous—the USPS does not even purport that more than negligible savings could be achieved. And the savings are illusory. Transportation costs would increase and would continue to increase. And the quoted “savings” numbers are self-evidently false.
Bulk Rates
The USPS chooses self-destruction, and destruction of the largest middle-class workforce in the nation, in preference to charging mailers a fraction more to cover the cost of maintaining the postal infrastructure. The USPS’s excessive “work-sharing” discounts paid to build, equip and operate a private presort network, and shunted mail sorting and distribution to it. This slashes revenue and leaves USPS plants underused—without decreasing the costs USPS must pay to build, equip, and staff its own network. It costs about as much to run a half-full truck as a full one. Processing plants and equipment must be acquired, maintained and operated whether the processing runs are long or short. USPS’s network must persist if there is to be postal service. Paying private companies to do USPS’s work simply gives away the store.
Public Release of the Area Mail Processing Study Data
The USPS provides no information supporting its self-evidently false estimates of savings.
The Process Used for Public Discussion of the Area Mail Processing Study
The meeting was announced with a minimum of notice—although the meeting facilities must have been arranged well in advance. The USPS has, over several years, made a series of partial demolitions of its infrastructure: closing a few thousand post offices here, a hundred or so processing plants there. Each destruction of service is presented as a necessary response to what is in fact a manufactured crisis. When the Rockford plant was slated for closure, the USPS told us its mail would come to Madison, and that Madison, Milwaukee, and Green Bay would be the remaining plants in Wisconsin in the shattered network. Under the proposed consolidation, Madison would lose half its mail processing—and Madison and southwest Wisconsin would lose first-class service. What next? Does USPS subscribe to Pitney-Bowes’ vision of purely private mail processing and distribution? The USPS’s actions are taking us down the road to privatization at a stunning speed, quickly and quietly proceeding in the dark with its plans to destroy service—to minimize public awareness of what is being done, to withhold information relied on in reaching decisions, to conceal the facts and hide the truth—and never to reveal that decisions are made solely in the service of mass mailers, to the detriment of the American people.
Lack of Public Input
The USPS seeks to minimize public input by giving short notice, by withholding any information relied on in reaching its business case estimates—and by, in every one of the hundreds of such meetings that have happened all over the country, presenting only vague statements by officials unable or unwilling to provide substantive answers. And by blithely ignoring all public input, proceeding with service destruction in violation of law and the public trust—all to ensure that the owners of Val-Pak Coupons and similar profiteers keep pocketing billions of dollars as excess profits that should have preserved the public infrastructure.
Service
The USPS could easily increase revenue, reduce costs, and provide better service to the American people. The Internet could be the biggest boon to the post since paper. USPS should offer a service whereby a customer e-mails a document to USPS, which then prints it at, and delivers it from, the destination postal facility. It has the impact of hard-copy communication with 1-day service everywhere—if USPS stops closing its processing-and-distribution centers. This would be a very popular service, and profitable if priced at full rates. It would avoid hauling paper across the country. Customers could sign, handwrite, draw, on a touchpad, as well as sending any document that can be sent to a printer.
The USPS leadership must preserve and improve the postal service for the American people. Not dismantle and destroy it for plunderers and profiteers.
Community Economic Impact
Residents of Madison and southwest Wisconsin are being made to suffer the loss of service, and to pay the sky-high rates charged by express mail companies when we need prompt service. USPS claims to “save” an amount less than a rounding error in its budget—yet savings, if any were to materialize, come at the expense of the people disserved.
Job Loss
USPS’s plan to put 54 Madisonians out of work, in order to destroy first-class service in Madison and southwest Wisconsin, will be a hardship for the workers, their families, for the businesses where they spend money, for the city of Madison, and for southwest Wisconsin. Contracting out transportation, rather than using local union workers, places the same financial burden on all of us. Charge your mass-mailing, discount-grubbing, profiteering customers enough to bring revenue back from $65 billion to $75 billion. Do not take the money from your employees and their communities. The hardship to the employees, families, and communities is real. The savings to USPS is illusory. The postal network must stay, and closing excessive discounts and raising rates is the only way to pay for it.
Road Impact
Hauling all southwest Wisconsin’s mail to Milwaukee and back for mail processing not only destroys service. The extra trucks needed, all converging at 3902 Milwaukee Street, Madison, all headed for 345 W. St. Paul Avenue, Milwaukee, have the potential to create traffic jams at both ends, with trucks backed up onto the highway waiting to get to and from the loading docks. This would be worse in winter or bad weather. The extra trucking would use more fuel, put more soot, poisons, and greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, cause additional damage to the roads, more road construction, more road congestion, more accidents.
Loss of Postmark
The loss of the Madison postmark for the daily hundreds of thousands of mailpieces collected in Madison signifies a loss of stature of the community. It sends a message that Madison is merely a satellite of Milwaukee. Madison is the state capital and a major Wisconsin city. And no, the opportunity to stand in line at the counter at the post office to get a letter stamped does not restore it.
Hazards in the Mail
In the event of destructive, poisonous, or hazardous material in the mail, the commingling of all mail from southwest Wisconsin into Milwaukee will maximize destructive impact and impede investigation into its source.
Politics
USPS officials have made it abundantly clear in the hundreds of previous such meetings that the people’s voice is irrelevant. That local politicians have no opportunity to persuade the government’s postal service to preserve service to their constituents. That USPS officials have their minds made up going into the meeting, an entirely pro forma affair. That control of postal decision-making has been taken over by the big mailers. They are the players who stand personally to gain billions of dollars by preserving their excessive, service-breaking discounts. Theirs is the only voice USPS officials respond to. USPS’s table has seats only for them. It is essential, while there is still some shred of government-owned and –operated postal service left, that we residential customers form our own research-and-lobbying group, to expose the dark secrets USPS management wants kept hidden, and pressure the responsible public servants to be responsible public servants—rather than the irresponsible servants of plunderers and pirates.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Compassion and Hubris: The Dalai Lama Speaks to the Wisconsin Legislature
Yesterday afternoon the Dalai Lama spoke to the Wisconsin state legislature.
Before His Holiness ever spoke a word, he laughed—not a nervous giggle, but an all-out "I'm so happy to be here" laugh. Such an infectious, hopeful thing—to laugh. It was disarming, and delightful. His Holiness is sometimes difficult to understand, as English is not his first language, but the language of laughter is well understood by those who listen with their hearts.
He spoke about his appreciation for democracy and the trust that the people of Wisconsin have put in their legislators, about the importance of humility and "transparency that brings trust." He spoke about how all human beings are the same, whether they are world leaders or homeless. "Mentally, emotionally, physically, we are the same. Everyone wants happiness."
While some of us were transfixed, hanging on every word either in person or via Wisconsin Eye, others were less than enthralled. A number of Wisconsin representatives appeared to be asleep or using cell phones.
According to one observer, "the ones who fell asleep (or at least appeared to be asleep) [were] Tranel, Marklein, Pridemore, Tittl, Hutton, Bies, Nass, Tiffany, and Knodl. It was hard to tell with some of them, but Tranel was definitely asleep. Nerison, who sits next to him, shook him awake at one point."
The sheer hubris and blatant disrespect shown here for a man revered throughout the world is breathtaking. This boorishness reflects poorly on us all. A schoolteacher with a gaggle of children listening to any public figure would not tolerate such behavior.
This—while His Holiness spoke of humility and compassion—was a disgusting display of the exact same contempt these legislators regularly show the people of Wisconsin.
According to a press release from Representative Melissa Sargent entitled "A Day of Highs and Lows in the State Assembly," on the very same afternoon Wisconsin lawmakers
# # #
Many thanks to Leslie Amsterdam and Dawn Morris-Henke for permission to use their photos.
 |
| His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama speaking to the Wisconsin State Assembly on May 14, 2013. Photo by Leslie Amsterdam. |
Before His Holiness ever spoke a word, he laughed—not a nervous giggle, but an all-out "I'm so happy to be here" laugh. Such an infectious, hopeful thing—to laugh. It was disarming, and delightful. His Holiness is sometimes difficult to understand, as English is not his first language, but the language of laughter is well understood by those who listen with their hearts.
He spoke about his appreciation for democracy and the trust that the people of Wisconsin have put in their legislators, about the importance of humility and "transparency that brings trust." He spoke about how all human beings are the same, whether they are world leaders or homeless. "Mentally, emotionally, physically, we are the same. Everyone wants happiness."
While some of us were transfixed, hanging on every word either in person or via Wisconsin Eye, others were less than enthralled. A number of Wisconsin representatives appeared to be asleep or using cell phones.
 |
| Some legislators apparently sleeping and using cell phones while the Dalai Lama is speaking. Photo by Dawn Morris-Henke. |
According to one observer, "the ones who fell asleep (or at least appeared to be asleep) [were] Tranel, Marklein, Pridemore, Tittl, Hutton, Bies, Nass, Tiffany, and Knodl. It was hard to tell with some of them, but Tranel was definitely asleep. Nerison, who sits next to him, shook him awake at one point."
The sheer hubris and blatant disrespect shown here for a man revered throughout the world is breathtaking. This boorishness reflects poorly on us all. A schoolteacher with a gaggle of children listening to any public figure would not tolerate such behavior.
This—while His Holiness spoke of humility and compassion—was a disgusting display of the exact same contempt these legislators regularly show the people of Wisconsin.
According to a press release from Representative Melissa Sargent entitled "A Day of Highs and Lows in the State Assembly," on the very same afternoon Wisconsin lawmakers
And here is what Representative Chris Taylor had to say on her Facebook page about this afternoon's legislative onslaught:"The bills we voted on tonight cast a dark cloud over what should have been a beautiful day for the state legislature," stated Rep. Melissa Sargent (D-Madison).
- Tore down the separation of powers between the judicial and legislative branches in an abuse of power and an assault on our democracy.
- Attempted to destroy local control of all landlord-tenant agreements.
- Destroyed the Milwaukee County Board.
- Honored a leader who is best known for war and destroying the middle class of a nation.
"His holiness, the Dalai Lama spoke to a joint legislative body. He told us of his appreciation of our democracy and said 'transparency, that brings trust ... there is no room for cheating other people.' I wish that my colleagues on the other side of the aisle could have brought the citizens of Wisconsin transparency or trust in their leadership. Instead, everyone was cheated with these bills passed tonight."
200 years of an independent judiciary trashed by Repubs today. They passed a bill that a court's injunction to prevent an unconstitutional bill from going into effect can be lifted by the mere act of filing an appeal. Clearly aimed at Voter ID and Act 10. If they don't like the rules, and 200 years of separation of powers, they'll just make up some new ones!The people of Wisconsin deserve real leadership that is compassionate and wise. Instead what we have is contemptuous hubris displaying one wanton power grab after another.
Many thanks to Leslie Amsterdam and Dawn Morris-Henke for permission to use their photos.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Plan B and the Internet Berserker: Adventures in Uncivil Discourse
Friday morning I posted this meme on the Worley Dervish Tumblr.
That post set a guy on Tumblr off on a rampage. (I honestly don't know who he is—I "ignored" him, which is Tumblr speak for "I blocked him," so now I can't see his blog, which is all to the good.) Happily, I am not usually exposed to this kind of hateful ranting, but after my initial shock, I have to confess to feeling kind of honored. I have no idea how this guy found my blog. Maybe he was looking for a lefty feminist to rage at and just happened to pick me. Oh joy.
So I decided that I needed to answer the raging bully, at least theoretically, if for no other reason than to silence the echoes still rattling around in my head. And it just so happens that because I had trouble reading the tiny type on his blog, I'd copied the rant into a Word file so I could read it. So here goes...
And watch your language. Didn't anybody ever teach you not to swear at strangers?
I suppose that because adolescent boys can't get pregnant, it's just fine for them to "fuck around" as much as they want? I suppose too that you figure it's up to girls, and girls alone, to avoid pregnancy, and boys are just too weak-willed to control their adolescent urges?
Quick access to emergency contraceptives can prevent pregnancy. It could easily take a girl weeks to work up the courage to talk to her parents about having been raped. Or about having had sex. Do you really want that girl to get pregnant just because in the few hours afterward she couldn't bear to talk to her parents about it?
Giving adolescents access to emergency contraception does not mean that your daughter has to take it, any more than it means that she has to have sex. You don't want her to use contraceptives? Fine. Then lay down those good rules and strict guidelines you're so fond of. That ought to do it, don't you think? It sounds, though, like you'd like the government to do it for you, to deny her access, because your rules aren't really as effective as you like to think. Are they?
According to you, if you raised your daughter right, your daughter won't need emergency contraceptives. If they're available to others, so what? What does that even have to do with you and your daughter? What happens between you and your daughter is your own business—God help her.
And watch your language.
Or are sometimes raped.
And here's a little nugget for you. Listen closely, because I'm sure it's news to you. Even really, really good girls sometimes get raped. That's right. Really, really good girls. That is to say, all girls who are raped are really, really good girls. All girls are good and supremely worthy of love and respect. No girl ever wants to be raped. Or asks for it. Or deserves it. And no girl is responsible for being raped. That's what it means to be raped. It means that your person has been horribly violated. When that happens to an adolescent girl, she should have access to whatever help there is in the universe, including over-the-counter emergency contraceptives. No girl who has been raped should ever be forced to become pregnant as a result of that rape.
Quit focusing exclusively on girls' behavior and start teaching boys to respect girls and not to rape them. Teach girls that they and other girls are worthy of respect and don't ever, ever deserve to be raped.
And watch your language.
Now go wash your mouth out with soap and think for a while about your deplorable behavior. What kind of example are you setting for your kids?
 |
| From the New York Times Editorial Board, May 3, 2013: “Putting Politics Ahead of Science” (not to mention decency and common sense) |
That post set a guy on Tumblr off on a rampage. (I honestly don't know who he is—I "ignored" him, which is Tumblr speak for "I blocked him," so now I can't see his blog, which is all to the good.) Happily, I am not usually exposed to this kind of hateful ranting, but after my initial shock, I have to confess to feeling kind of honored. I have no idea how this guy found my blog. Maybe he was looking for a lefty feminist to rage at and just happened to pick me. Oh joy.
So I decided that I needed to answer the raging bully, at least theoretically, if for no other reason than to silence the echoes still rattling around in my head. And it just so happens that because I had trouble reading the tiny type on his blog, I'd copied the rant into a Word file so I could read it. So here goes...
Oh…you want to talk decency and common fucking sense?Yes. And watch your language. Show a little decency.
sit your ass down.Who do you think you're talking to? I'm not your kid. As a matter of fact, I'm really, really glad I'm not your kid. Seriously.
You want girls of any age to be able to fuck around and have access to 'safe birth control' because its their uterus and they (at any age) have the right to do whatever with their body because its their body.No one is saying that adolescents should just go out and have as much sex as they want. One hopes that parents would teach them to respect themselves and their own bodies, and to respect others and their bodies. In the real world, however, neither very wise and loving parents, nor the possibility of getting pregnant, nor the fear of a noisy, bullying, swearing, red-in-the-face father has ever been enough to prevent some adolescents from having sex.
And watch your language. Didn't anybody ever teach you not to swear at strangers?
why the fuck do we even have parents anymore? They don't even matter anymore in this society. A girl can get pregnant at 14 (even younger!) and can just buy the morning after pill over the counter and keep on fucking because apparently they are mature enough to know what to do with the pill and do it responsibly. wow! why have parents anymore when society and government can just do it for us?I notice your focus is entirely on girls, like the only problem with adolescent sex is girls having it. And the availability of contraceptives, emergency or otherwise, would cause them to have sex without any restraint? A little reminder: it takes two to make a baby.
I suppose that because adolescent boys can't get pregnant, it's just fine for them to "fuck around" as much as they want? I suppose too that you figure it's up to girls, and girls alone, to avoid pregnancy, and boys are just too weak-willed to control their adolescent urges?
Quick access to emergency contraceptives can prevent pregnancy. It could easily take a girl weeks to work up the courage to talk to her parents about having been raped. Or about having had sex. Do you really want that girl to get pregnant just because in the few hours afterward she couldn't bear to talk to her parents about it?
No, fuck you people.Charming. Watch your language.
How about YOU stay the fuck out of other people's daughters vaginas because as long as she is under MY roof, she is MY responsibility, NOT yours. Good parenting is raising your child right and that includes protecting them from the hot-sex society you dumbfucks are creating because you fail as parents yourselves and simply give in to them. Kids need rules and strict guidelines to live by and loving parents who show them right from wrong and actually fucking discipline them when they get outta line.I think you're confused. It's you who are trying to control what other people's daughters have access to. And of course your daughter is your responsibility. Poor thing. But just because you don't want your daughter to have access to something she may desperately need doesn't mean that you should be able to prevent my daughter from having access to what she may desperately need.
Giving adolescents access to emergency contraception does not mean that your daughter has to take it, any more than it means that she has to have sex. You don't want her to use contraceptives? Fine. Then lay down those good rules and strict guidelines you're so fond of. That ought to do it, don't you think? It sounds, though, like you'd like the government to do it for you, to deny her access, because your rules aren't really as effective as you like to think. Are they?
According to you, if you raised your daughter right, your daughter won't need emergency contraceptives. If they're available to others, so what? What does that even have to do with you and your daughter? What happens between you and your daughter is your own business—God help her.
And watch your language.
This…'let them have sex because we can't stop them so lets promote safe sex and birth control at any age'…is fucking retarded. You are telling immature kids that its OK to have sex as long as you are safe about it but if you are not safe about it, theres Plan B which we want available to girls of all fucking ages.This "make them have babies because we don't want them to have sex" thing is what makes no sense. Even kids with the best, most conscientious, most loving parents sometimes have sex.
Or are sometimes raped.
And here's a little nugget for you. Listen closely, because I'm sure it's news to you. Even really, really good girls sometimes get raped. That's right. Really, really good girls. That is to say, all girls who are raped are really, really good girls. All girls are good and supremely worthy of love and respect. No girl ever wants to be raped. Or asks for it. Or deserves it. And no girl is responsible for being raped. That's what it means to be raped. It means that your person has been horribly violated. When that happens to an adolescent girl, she should have access to whatever help there is in the universe, including over-the-counter emergency contraceptives. No girl who has been raped should ever be forced to become pregnant as a result of that rape.
Quit focusing exclusively on girls' behavior and start teaching boys to respect girls and not to rape them. Teach girls that they and other girls are worthy of respect and don't ever, ever deserve to be raped.
And watch your language.
As a parent, you people make me fucking sick. stay the fuck out of my kids uteruses.It's rape and the rape culture we live in that make me sick. It's shaming girls who have been raped and then forcing them to bear children they're not ready for that makes me sick. It's foul-mouthed, bullying misogynists that make me sick.
Now go wash your mouth out with soap and think for a while about your deplorable behavior. What kind of example are you setting for your kids?
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Naughty of me, wasn't it?
The #SolidaritySingAlong - Singing truth to power, ... strengthening resolve ... pissing off the powerful #WIunion twitpic.com/cid8kj
— Worley Dervish (@WorleyDervish) April 10, 2013
 |
| Many thanks to Lisa Wells for the photo! |
@rightwisconsin noon to one = non-work hours. You're just jealous because no one will sing with you.
— Worley Dervish (@WorleyDervish) April 10, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
A Good Marriage Takes a Village
Truth be told, I have never been all that fond of weddings. In fact, in my disgust with their usual sexist buttressing of patriarchy, in my more cynical moments I have been known to refer to them as "Babes on Parade." When Tom and I were living together outside of the bonds of matrimony, oh-so-many years ago, I was quite content. I knew he loved me. I loved him. We were committed to each other. What more did we need? Quite a lot, actually.
In spite of my reservations, when Tom asked me to marry him, I found I couldn't possibly say no. So I suggested we just call the priest, invite Tom's brother and sister-in-law, have a little ceremony on the lawn outside the church some sunny afternoon, and then let folks know and throw a little party to celebrate. But Tom was all "Well, we gotta do it right and invite the whole family and everybody." Really? Really. Seeing as how I was jazzed to be part of the whole family he was intent on inviting, and seeing as how one of the things I found so attractive about him was how much he loves his family, I went along, albeit somewhat skeptically.
I agonized about what to do about my name. I couldn't imagine not being "Mary Ray." Even when I was single, people treated "Ray" like it was a sort of combination middle name and last name. But I also wanted my name to signify that Tom and I are family. I wanted to be a Worley. I went back and forth about what to do for weeks, until finally Tom said, "Would it help if I took your name too?"
Me (completely taken by surprise): "Hah! You would do that?"
Tom: "Sure. Why not?"
Me: "No wonder I love you."
So it was settled. He's Tom Ray Worley and I'm Mary Ray Worley. Call me Mary Worley and it will take me a minute to figure out who you're talking to. As a friend said at the time, the name exchange signified that this was "a merger rather than an acquisition." Amen and boy howdy! "Ray" still does double duty as middle and last name, and the whole world knows just by our names that we belong to each other.
Tom was in graduate school at the time, so it was left to me (with much-needed help from my wonderful soon-to-be sister-in-law) to make the arrangements. This wasn't as unfair as it might sound, because we could have gotten hitched whenever we wanted. We could have waited until Tom was available to help with the preparations. But since May 1 fell on a Saturday in 1993, I was determined to get married on what seemed to me to be an especially auspicious date, which unhappily was right before finals week for Tom. Being the swell guy that he is, he raised no objections. So we got married on May Day.
I planned for as egalitarian a ceremony as I could conjure. Both of Tom's parents walked him down the aisle, and both of mine did the same for me. We each had two attendants: Tom's brothers stood up for him and my sister and a dear friend stood up for me. I told my attendants that the only requirement was that they had to come clothed. Beyond that, they could wear whatever they liked.
So we did the big family celebration, complete with cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, and friends from all over the country. I was amazed and pleased by how great it felt to have public support from our friends and family for our commitment to each other. Tom was right. It was important to have the big family celebration. We loved each other a lot, but we needed the support of our friends and family. We needed our commitment to be not only before God and each other but before our families, friends, church, and community. I could feel the power of that support almost viscerally. The world we live in is full of selfishness, greed, and foolishness, and our need for compassion and forgiveness is a constant. Love doesn't flourish in lonely isolation. It takes a village—a loving, supportive community—for love to thrive.
After our celebration, Tom went back and took his finals, and then we went on our glorious honeymoon in Hawaii, courtesy of Tom's uncle, who bought our plane tickets with his frequent flyer miles, put us up in his condo right across from Diamond Head on Waikiki, gave us the use of his very cool little red Karmann Ghia sports car, graciously skedaddled right after picking us up from the airport, and even left us two perfectly ripe papayas. We really did get off to a most excellent start.
Tom and I will celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary in less than a month. And that support from family and community means as much or more now than it did then. Like every loving couple, we have encountered bumps and some bruises along the way. As good a fit as we are for each other, we still require the support and love of our family and community to continue learning how to love each other well.
As true as it is for us, a privileged straight couple, it's no less true, and perhaps more so, for LGBT couples, who regularly encounter hostility and judgment even from those purporting to represent a loving creator. Our LGBT sisters and brothers need us to celebrate with them and surround them with our wild, enthusiastic, unreserved support. Love and commitment and family are some of God's most precious gifts to us. In this world of woe we live in, love, commitment, family, and joy must be embraced and celebrated whenever and wherever we encounter them.
I feel differently these days about weddings, some of them anyway. In my heart I hear the sound of wedding bells pealing for LGBT friends and family. I picture joyous, colorful, creative celebrations in which the tired old patriarchal, traditional wedding ceremony gets a much-needed shot in the arm. I believe that our LGBT sisters and brothers have much to teach the rest of us about love in the face of adversity. Make no mistake: it's not just that they need us; we need them. We need them in our circle, in our community, our village. Our marriages need their support. We need to learn what they have to teach us. Love is in the air. The time for marriage equality—for everyone—is now.
# # #
"We Know How It Ends" courtesy of Believe Out Loud.
In spite of my reservations, when Tom asked me to marry him, I found I couldn't possibly say no. So I suggested we just call the priest, invite Tom's brother and sister-in-law, have a little ceremony on the lawn outside the church some sunny afternoon, and then let folks know and throw a little party to celebrate. But Tom was all "Well, we gotta do it right and invite the whole family and everybody." Really? Really. Seeing as how I was jazzed to be part of the whole family he was intent on inviting, and seeing as how one of the things I found so attractive about him was how much he loves his family, I went along, albeit somewhat skeptically.
I agonized about what to do about my name. I couldn't imagine not being "Mary Ray." Even when I was single, people treated "Ray" like it was a sort of combination middle name and last name. But I also wanted my name to signify that Tom and I are family. I wanted to be a Worley. I went back and forth about what to do for weeks, until finally Tom said, "Would it help if I took your name too?"
Me (completely taken by surprise): "Hah! You would do that?"
Tom: "Sure. Why not?"
Me: "No wonder I love you."
So it was settled. He's Tom Ray Worley and I'm Mary Ray Worley. Call me Mary Worley and it will take me a minute to figure out who you're talking to. As a friend said at the time, the name exchange signified that this was "a merger rather than an acquisition." Amen and boy howdy! "Ray" still does double duty as middle and last name, and the whole world knows just by our names that we belong to each other.
Tom was in graduate school at the time, so it was left to me (with much-needed help from my wonderful soon-to-be sister-in-law) to make the arrangements. This wasn't as unfair as it might sound, because we could have gotten hitched whenever we wanted. We could have waited until Tom was available to help with the preparations. But since May 1 fell on a Saturday in 1993, I was determined to get married on what seemed to me to be an especially auspicious date, which unhappily was right before finals week for Tom. Being the swell guy that he is, he raised no objections. So we got married on May Day.
I planned for as egalitarian a ceremony as I could conjure. Both of Tom's parents walked him down the aisle, and both of mine did the same for me. We each had two attendants: Tom's brothers stood up for him and my sister and a dear friend stood up for me. I told my attendants that the only requirement was that they had to come clothed. Beyond that, they could wear whatever they liked.
After our celebration, Tom went back and took his finals, and then we went on our glorious honeymoon in Hawaii, courtesy of Tom's uncle, who bought our plane tickets with his frequent flyer miles, put us up in his condo right across from Diamond Head on Waikiki, gave us the use of his very cool little red Karmann Ghia sports car, graciously skedaddled right after picking us up from the airport, and even left us two perfectly ripe papayas. We really did get off to a most excellent start.
Tom and I will celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary in less than a month. And that support from family and community means as much or more now than it did then. Like every loving couple, we have encountered bumps and some bruises along the way. As good a fit as we are for each other, we still require the support and love of our family and community to continue learning how to love each other well.
As true as it is for us, a privileged straight couple, it's no less true, and perhaps more so, for LGBT couples, who regularly encounter hostility and judgment even from those purporting to represent a loving creator. Our LGBT sisters and brothers need us to celebrate with them and surround them with our wild, enthusiastic, unreserved support. Love and commitment and family are some of God's most precious gifts to us. In this world of woe we live in, love, commitment, family, and joy must be embraced and celebrated whenever and wherever we encounter them.
I feel differently these days about weddings, some of them anyway. In my heart I hear the sound of wedding bells pealing for LGBT friends and family. I picture joyous, colorful, creative celebrations in which the tired old patriarchal, traditional wedding ceremony gets a much-needed shot in the arm. I believe that our LGBT sisters and brothers have much to teach the rest of us about love in the face of adversity. Make no mistake: it's not just that they need us; we need them. We need them in our circle, in our community, our village. Our marriages need their support. We need to learn what they have to teach us. Love is in the air. The time for marriage equality—for everyone—is now.
"We Know How It Ends" courtesy of Believe Out Loud.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Personal Connections and Transformations: Learning to Embrace "The Gay"
I was pleasantly surprised this week to read about Senator Rob Portman's change of heart regarding gay marriage. A few comments I read expressed regret that it required a personal connection—Portman's son is gay—for him to reevaluate his position. But I contend that nearly all of our best and most important transformations are prompted by personal connections. What was once theoretical becomes immediately, achingly personal, powerful enough to blast through our preconceived, long-held beliefs. We can all be glad that Portman was willing to let his personal connection to his son change his beliefs. Many of us know of parents who are unmoved and unsupportive when their children come out. Thank God for those who do better.
Few people are able to effect such metamorphoses only on a theoretical basis. It's a big reason why the personal really is political. And it's why, with fewer and fewer gay people staying in the closet, more and more of us are being transformed by those personal connections, to the extent that marriage equality is indeed beginning to look inevitable. These days we all have friends, cousins, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, mentors, and heroes who are gay. If your heart is open to them, then it is necessarily open to marriage equality and justice. Such is the nature of the personal connection.
For example, when I was younger, I was an enthusiastic evangelical Christian (whereas nowadays I'm a mild-mannered, unassuming Episcopalian). I believed that homosexuality was wrong for the simple reason that people I loved and trusted told me it was wrong, and I didn't have any better information than that. One of my very best friends also believed what we were told; only for him, it was anything but theoretical. Because he was gay.
I met Patrick in high school when we were on the newspaper staff together. I went to the same university Patrick did, and seeing as how he was a year ahead of me, he took some pleasure in showing me around the big U. We did the obligatory bar-hopping tour, and he introduced me to the very exciting if somewhat daunting Plato system—my very first encounter with a computer! He was brilliant and funny and always kind. He studied Hebrew, Greek, Japanese, Russian, and Arabic just because he enjoyed learning them. He learned American Sign Language and rode a unicycle all over campus. I affectionately called him Petruchio (the romantic lead in The Taming of the Shrew). He was my very best friend from 1974 until he died at the tender age of 32 in 1987.
When I had a religious conversion experience in December of my freshman year (1974), I took Patrick along for the ride. He came to church with me and joined the same Christian group on campus. We had known each other—very well, I thought—for maybe eight years before he told me about his sexual conundrum: he was attracted to men. I was shocked. No one had ever come out to me before. It was totally outside my sphere of experience or understanding. Still, neither of us questioned what we had been taught.
Patrick struggled mightily to resist temptation, and he despised himself because he wasn't able to change. I will never forget him dissolving in anguished tears on my couch. His "failures" consisted of loveless, anonymous sexual encounters, after which he would castigate himself and resolve to do better. It was a nasty, vicious cycle of torment and self-loathing. Only a few months before he contracted HIV, Patrick said how lucky he was not to have come down with some dread disease. Obviously, his luck didn't hold.
Patrick moved to Texas a few years before he died. The first time I went to visit him there we were both struck by how nice it was to be with someone with whom we didn't even have to finish our sentences to be understood. Then he told me about his diagnosis. Back in those days, HIV was a swift death sentence. I went to Texas to visit him twice before he died.
The first time I saw him after he was diagnosed with AIDS, I was stunned by his appearance. He looked like a concentration camp survivor. For the first half hour or so I was with him, I found it difficult to breathe, as though I'd been struck on the back and had the wind knocked out of me. The change in him was so hard to process. While others shunned him, feared contagion, and worried about sharing a salad with him (I kid you not!), I cooked enormous amounts of food for him because I noticed that no matter how much I put in front of him, he ate half. I cleaned his bathroom and organized his cornucopia of prescription drugs. I never considered doing anything less. This was my Petruchio. What else could I have done?
I read as much about AIDS as I could get my hands on (most notably, And the Band Played On, by Randy Shilts) in the vain hope that understanding what was happening to Patrick would help me cope. I ran interference between him and his mother. When he lapsed into a coma during the last month of his life, I insisted that his mother hold the phone up to his ear for ten minutes every day so that I could prattle at him, whether he could actually hear me or not. Finally, I picked out where he would be buried and made arrangements for his funeral (the first funeral home I called didn't want to handle someone who had died of AIDS).
Patrick died on July 12, 1987. For years afterward I was furious with God, not because Patrick had died but because he died what seemed to me to be a small, miserable little death. He was in denial about his impending death right up to the end. He never faced himself or his disease. But to me he was so precious, so beautiful, so extraordinary. He deserved so much better. I know now, too, that I was uncomfortable with Patrick's rejection of his gayness, even though I wasn't ready to fully accept it either.
During that time, I began experiencing what is sometimes referred to as cognitive dissonance—my experiences didn't jibe with my beliefs. I talked to some friends who were gay and asked them obnoxious, personal questions like "Do you still consider yourself a Christian?" and "When did you realize you were gay? What made you think that?" I knew a lesbian couple whom I loved very much (still "hating the sin while loving the sinner"). I realized one day that I liked them very much as a couple, and I couldn't imagine them in relationship with anyone else. Gender didn't really even seem to come into it. They were just right for each other.
In 1991, I moved to Madison, where I began attending an Episcopal church, still pretty mad at God and still confused. There I met Clay, who was our choir director. I learned not long after I met him that Clay was married to his partner, John. When I went to their home, I looked through their wedding album. It was oh-so-ordinary. And lovely. I finally thought to myself, "Well, maybe in an ideal world, people wouldn't be gay. But since when was this ever an ideal world?" I was still processing, still questioning, and not quite ready to fully embrace and celebrate "the gay," but no longer willing to judge or reject just because I was taught to.
I found myself wishing with all my heart that Patrick could have been able to enjoy what Clay and John had: a loving, committed, fulfilling relationship. How vastly better than furtive, anonymous, life-threatening sexual encounters followed by weeks of self-loathing and unremitting remorse. I loved being with Clay and John, because I found their love healing and comforting. I let go of the last of my reservations in the shelter of their love for me and for each other.
In 1997 Clay started Perfect Harmony, Madison's gay and gay-friendly men's chorus. I got to sing the part of Dorothy for "Over the Rainbow" in their very first performance. Imagine being the only woman singing with a chorus of 25 men. It was glorious! At many of the Perfect Harmony concerts for several years after that I got to sing either solos or ensembles with the men. It was thrilling. One year I sang "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and leaned a little extra on the line "Make the Yuletide — gay," to the audience's delight. Clay said to me at one point, "You know, most of the audience probably thinks you're gay." The thought hadn't occurred to me. I paused for a moment, smiled, and said, "Cool! I'm honored." I think you could say that by then my transformation was pretty well complete.
As it happened, Clay also had AIDS, only by that time treatments were much better, so he lived with his disease for ten years (instead of Patrick's ten months) before he died. And John, Clay's husband, was a nurse, so Clay was very well cared for during his illness. I got to visit him the day before he died. "You're going to die too, you know," he said to me. I assured him that I knew. He also told me he'd look up my friend Patrick when he got there, wherever "there" is. I still love the thought of them meeting each other.
The day before he died, it seemed like the veil was already disintegrating for Clay and he could see well beyond it. He faced his death with courage and even joy, ready for whatever came next. His funeral was one of the most beautiful church services I've ever been to. Because he had picked out all the hymns and the readings, his presence was palpable. I felt so close to him. His was a good, courageous death, unsullied by self-loathing and recriminations. It was the perfect counterpoint to all that had distressed me so deeply about Patrick's death.
I'm no longer angry at God. I celebrate both Patrick's life and Clay's. I'm grateful that God made them exactly as they were. Had they not been gay, they would not have been themselves. And who they were is one of the greatest gifts God has given me. I have been enriched beyond measure by knowing and loving them. And I'm so grateful there was more to the story of "the gay" than what I was first taught. I have had the remarkable experience of personal connection, transformation, and love. I wish Senator Portman—and his son—much joy as they navigate the experience of connection and transformation together.
# # #
"Our Calling," artwork and quotation by Ricardo Levins Morales.
"LGBT Youth" is from Tumbln Spirits on Tumblr.
The "Inclusiveness" Window at McKinley Presbyterian Church, Champaign, Illinois, was installed in 1997 in honor of my late
mother-in-law, Carolyn Juergensmeyer Worley, longtime member of McKinley's Social Action Committee and a woman with as kind, generous, and accepting a heart as anyone I've ever known.
Few people are able to effect such metamorphoses only on a theoretical basis. It's a big reason why the personal really is political. And it's why, with fewer and fewer gay people staying in the closet, more and more of us are being transformed by those personal connections, to the extent that marriage equality is indeed beginning to look inevitable. These days we all have friends, cousins, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, mentors, and heroes who are gay. If your heart is open to them, then it is necessarily open to marriage equality and justice. Such is the nature of the personal connection.
 |
| "Our calling is not to cross boundaries, defy restrictions, or escape compartments. It is to embrace a universe that does not admit their existence." |
I met Patrick in high school when we were on the newspaper staff together. I went to the same university Patrick did, and seeing as how he was a year ahead of me, he took some pleasure in showing me around the big U. We did the obligatory bar-hopping tour, and he introduced me to the very exciting if somewhat daunting Plato system—my very first encounter with a computer! He was brilliant and funny and always kind. He studied Hebrew, Greek, Japanese, Russian, and Arabic just because he enjoyed learning them. He learned American Sign Language and rode a unicycle all over campus. I affectionately called him Petruchio (the romantic lead in The Taming of the Shrew). He was my very best friend from 1974 until he died at the tender age of 32 in 1987.
When I had a religious conversion experience in December of my freshman year (1974), I took Patrick along for the ride. He came to church with me and joined the same Christian group on campus. We had known each other—very well, I thought—for maybe eight years before he told me about his sexual conundrum: he was attracted to men. I was shocked. No one had ever come out to me before. It was totally outside my sphere of experience or understanding. Still, neither of us questioned what we had been taught.
Patrick struggled mightily to resist temptation, and he despised himself because he wasn't able to change. I will never forget him dissolving in anguished tears on my couch. His "failures" consisted of loveless, anonymous sexual encounters, after which he would castigate himself and resolve to do better. It was a nasty, vicious cycle of torment and self-loathing. Only a few months before he contracted HIV, Patrick said how lucky he was not to have come down with some dread disease. Obviously, his luck didn't hold.Patrick moved to Texas a few years before he died. The first time I went to visit him there we were both struck by how nice it was to be with someone with whom we didn't even have to finish our sentences to be understood. Then he told me about his diagnosis. Back in those days, HIV was a swift death sentence. I went to Texas to visit him twice before he died.
The first time I saw him after he was diagnosed with AIDS, I was stunned by his appearance. He looked like a concentration camp survivor. For the first half hour or so I was with him, I found it difficult to breathe, as though I'd been struck on the back and had the wind knocked out of me. The change in him was so hard to process. While others shunned him, feared contagion, and worried about sharing a salad with him (I kid you not!), I cooked enormous amounts of food for him because I noticed that no matter how much I put in front of him, he ate half. I cleaned his bathroom and organized his cornucopia of prescription drugs. I never considered doing anything less. This was my Petruchio. What else could I have done?
I read as much about AIDS as I could get my hands on (most notably, And the Band Played On, by Randy Shilts) in the vain hope that understanding what was happening to Patrick would help me cope. I ran interference between him and his mother. When he lapsed into a coma during the last month of his life, I insisted that his mother hold the phone up to his ear for ten minutes every day so that I could prattle at him, whether he could actually hear me or not. Finally, I picked out where he would be buried and made arrangements for his funeral (the first funeral home I called didn't want to handle someone who had died of AIDS).
Patrick died on July 12, 1987. For years afterward I was furious with God, not because Patrick had died but because he died what seemed to me to be a small, miserable little death. He was in denial about his impending death right up to the end. He never faced himself or his disease. But to me he was so precious, so beautiful, so extraordinary. He deserved so much better. I know now, too, that I was uncomfortable with Patrick's rejection of his gayness, even though I wasn't ready to fully accept it either.
During that time, I began experiencing what is sometimes referred to as cognitive dissonance—my experiences didn't jibe with my beliefs. I talked to some friends who were gay and asked them obnoxious, personal questions like "Do you still consider yourself a Christian?" and "When did you realize you were gay? What made you think that?" I knew a lesbian couple whom I loved very much (still "hating the sin while loving the sinner"). I realized one day that I liked them very much as a couple, and I couldn't imagine them in relationship with anyone else. Gender didn't really even seem to come into it. They were just right for each other.
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| "Inclusiveness" Window, McKinley Presbyterian Church, Champaign, Illinois |
I found myself wishing with all my heart that Patrick could have been able to enjoy what Clay and John had: a loving, committed, fulfilling relationship. How vastly better than furtive, anonymous, life-threatening sexual encounters followed by weeks of self-loathing and unremitting remorse. I loved being with Clay and John, because I found their love healing and comforting. I let go of the last of my reservations in the shelter of their love for me and for each other.
In 1997 Clay started Perfect Harmony, Madison's gay and gay-friendly men's chorus. I got to sing the part of Dorothy for "Over the Rainbow" in their very first performance. Imagine being the only woman singing with a chorus of 25 men. It was glorious! At many of the Perfect Harmony concerts for several years after that I got to sing either solos or ensembles with the men. It was thrilling. One year I sang "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and leaned a little extra on the line "Make the Yuletide — gay," to the audience's delight. Clay said to me at one point, "You know, most of the audience probably thinks you're gay." The thought hadn't occurred to me. I paused for a moment, smiled, and said, "Cool! I'm honored." I think you could say that by then my transformation was pretty well complete.
As it happened, Clay also had AIDS, only by that time treatments were much better, so he lived with his disease for ten years (instead of Patrick's ten months) before he died. And John, Clay's husband, was a nurse, so Clay was very well cared for during his illness. I got to visit him the day before he died. "You're going to die too, you know," he said to me. I assured him that I knew. He also told me he'd look up my friend Patrick when he got there, wherever "there" is. I still love the thought of them meeting each other.
The day before he died, it seemed like the veil was already disintegrating for Clay and he could see well beyond it. He faced his death with courage and even joy, ready for whatever came next. His funeral was one of the most beautiful church services I've ever been to. Because he had picked out all the hymns and the readings, his presence was palpable. I felt so close to him. His was a good, courageous death, unsullied by self-loathing and recriminations. It was the perfect counterpoint to all that had distressed me so deeply about Patrick's death.
I'm no longer angry at God. I celebrate both Patrick's life and Clay's. I'm grateful that God made them exactly as they were. Had they not been gay, they would not have been themselves. And who they were is one of the greatest gifts God has given me. I have been enriched beyond measure by knowing and loving them. And I'm so grateful there was more to the story of "the gay" than what I was first taught. I have had the remarkable experience of personal connection, transformation, and love. I wish Senator Portman—and his son—much joy as they navigate the experience of connection and transformation together.
"Our Calling," artwork and quotation by Ricardo Levins Morales.
"LGBT Youth" is from Tumbln Spirits on Tumblr.
The "Inclusiveness" Window at McKinley Presbyterian Church, Champaign, Illinois, was installed in 1997 in honor of my late
mother-in-law, Carolyn Juergensmeyer Worley, longtime member of McKinley's Social Action Committee and a woman with as kind, generous, and accepting a heart as anyone I've ever known.
To our knowledge, this is the only stained glass window devoted to inclusiveness as a theme in America. Symbols abound and the most dramatic is at the top. A pink triangle set against a white Celtic cross recalls the suffering and repression of GLBT persons at the hands of the Nazis in Germany in the 30’s and 40’s. Also included are the rainbow flag, an AIDS ribbon, and male and female hands clasping one another and supported by the hand of God.
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